All Shook Up
Sung at an office volunteers luncheon.
A-well-a bless my soul, what's wrong with us?
We're fussin' like some folks who've missed the bus.
People say we're actin' like we are lost.
Without you, mm, we're all shook up.
Mm-mm mm, mm mm, yeah, yeah yeah
A-well my hands are shaky and my knees are weak,
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet.
Who can I get to make my copies for me.
Without you, mm, I'm all shook up.
Mm-mm mm, mm mm, yeah, yeah yeah
Please don't ask me what's on my mind,
I'm a little mixed up I'm not doin' so fine.
Recie's just asked me to fill out these cards.
My heart jumped so it scared me to death.
She put ‘em in my hand what a chill I got
My face got red like a volcano that's hot.
My oh my this kind of work is tough.
Without you, mm, I'm all shook up.
Mm-mm mm, mm mm, yeah, yeah yeah
My good friend Paul is sittin' at that desk.
The sun now setting out in the west.
All lines are ringing right off the hook,
His arms are movin' like an octopus. ~
The lights are blinking and his eyes are glazed.
All in the office are a little dazed.
It's true what we say without you its tough.
It's too much, mm, we're all shook up.
Mm-mm mm, mm mm, yeah, yeah yeah
Mm-mm mm, mm mm, yeah, yeah yeah
We're all shook up.
Blue Christmas
Rock star impersonation is not among the gifts listed by the early church. It can be a challenge to figure out how to fit such a talent into one's ministry. For instance, what if an Elvis impersonator were to appear in the place of the associate pastor at Saint Paul's on Christmas eve? This song considers just how people might react.
'Twill be a new Christmas at Saint Paul's.
Will they be blue, confused, or appalled?
Will their faces of red on a cold Christmas eve
not mean they're cold but that they are mad at me?
I'll have a blue Christmas, that's certain.
And when it's through, I will be hurtin'.
Senior's feeling some fright with his face ashen white.
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.
The congregation's stormin' the altar.
They're out to get Elvis, the pastor.
Pastor Parish Committee is callin' the bishop who
they hope will arrange for a timely mid-year move.
May be a blue Christmas without these.
A sacrifice, but it will keep peace.
No decorations of sideburns with collar up high
so I'll have a blue blue blue blue Christmas.
Blue Moon
Blue moon,
you saw me standing alone,
without a church I could serve,
without a church of my own.
That June
you knew just what I was there for.
You heard them saying a prayer for
the ministers they'd ordain.
spoken
Yes, last year I was ordained and sent here,
to Saint Paul's, Tallahassee. Little did I know
that just one year later my senior pastor
would be moving on.
Lake June-
-aluska, North Carolina,
Charlene's elected bishop
Oh who will serve with me now?
Blue moon,
you see me standing alone.
Please send us another senior.
Don't want to serve all alone.
Now I croon,
No longer standing alone.
A senior who plays the guitar
Another talent unknown.
District Rock (Jailhouse Rock)
Performed at the 1996 Tallahassee District Pastors Christmas party, Wakulla Springs Lodge.
The D.S. threw a party at Wakulla Springs
The preachers all were there and they began to sing
The folks was jumpin' and the joint began to swing
You should've heard those Methodist preachers sing. Let's rock.
Everybody let's rock.
Everybody in the whole durn lodge
was a dancin' to the District Rock.
The Conference then caught wind of what was in the air.
The bishop heard and cried What's goin' on up there.
J.C. said, Come on and bring your saxophone
'cause I'm a blowin on my old slide trombone. Let's rock.
Everybody let's rock.
Everybody in the whole durn lodge
was a dancin' to the District Rock.
Christians everywhere began to hear the tune.
They recognized it and they too began to croon.
You see the song that you and I'd begun to sing
had that tried and true good news gospel ring. Let's rock.
Everybody let's rock.
Everybody in the whole durn lodge
was a dancin' to the District Rock.
The word went out to places that were far and wide.
Folks was askin' Jesus, Come and be my guide.
Everyone could see the kingdom was at hand
'cause God had entrusted this gospel band. Let's rock.
Everybody let's rock.
Everybody in the whole durn lodge
was a dancin' to the District Rock.
Don't Be Cruel
Sung at a Palm Bay United Methodist Church talent show before Pastor Elvis was a pastor.
You know I can be found
sitting all alone
If you can't come around
at least please telephone
Don't be cruel
have a heart that's true
Brother if I made you mad
By something I might have said
Please just forgive the past
Christ is still the head
Don't be cruel
cause His heart is true
Christ just wants this kind of love
Christian its still you He's
thinkin' of
Do not take revenge
Live at peace with everyone
The Lord said He'll avenge
Evil with good overcome
Don't be cruel
to His heart be true
Why should we be apart?
He really loves us baby
cross my heart
Lets talk to our Father
And do as Christ said do
We have His Holy Spirit
So we know we can be true
I won't be cruel
Will have a heart that's true
I don't want no less than love
Patient, kind, not rude now
that is love
Don't be cruel
Have a heart that's true
I won't be cruel
Will have a heart that's true
I don't want no less than love
Jesus it's now You I'm
thinkin' of
Emmaus Rock (Jailhouse Rock)
First performed at Big Bend Walk to Emmaus #7 (Women).
The pilgrims threw their watches in the old suit case
They took a vow of silence and began to pace
The team was jumpin' and the joint began to swing
You should a heard those knocked out pilgrims sing:
Let's walk. Everybody let's walk.
Everyone who hears another talk
is a struttin' to the ‘Maus Walk.
The spiritual directors they did number five
Began to speak on grace and now this is no jive
Prevenient and justifying, means of grace
And overcoming obstacles through God's grace
Let's walk...
The ALD's I think are really pretty swell
We know that they can really really ring that bell
Marcia keeps the whole team's ducks in a row
She works to make the weekend really flow
Let's walk...
Fulton in the kitchen he does cook so fine
The sisters hardly wait til they can sit and dine
First they got to sing a song afore they can eat
Tomorrow they may sing a song with this kind of beat
Let's walk...
It's God who really really makes the weekend swing
The Father, Son and Spirit how they make us sing.
Jesus says, "Just walk along and then you'll see,
"Come on do and the ‘Mmaus Walk with me.
Let's walk...
I Am Elvis Alright (Are You Lonesome Tonight?)
I am Elvis alright
here at Saint Paul's tonight
Are you sorry the bishop sent me?
Does your memory stray
to a June summer day
When I showed up and called you my church?
Does a man wearing side-burns seem not all quite there?
Do you gaze at this pastor and say how does he dare?
Are your hearts filled with pain,
Shall I come back again?
Tell me church and just come back I might.
I wonder what you're thinking tonight.
You know, someone said that the world's a stage
and each of us play a part.
God called me to be a pastor with you as my congregation.
Act I was where we met.
I loved you at first glance.
You listened to me preach and never missed a word.
Then came Act II. Seeing the change you acted strange
when I showed up as Elvis one day.
When you saw me you laughed and I had no cause to doubt
that you'd received me.
And I knew you wouldn't ask the bishop to have me moved.
Without you the stage would be bare
and me standing there with emptiness all around.
If we don't stick together then they can bring my curtain down.
Now my first year is gone;
Shall I come back again?
Yes I love you and so I shall stay.
I Am Home for Christmas (I'll Be Home for Christmas)
Sung at a Christmas Day dinner for the homeless and others at Trinity UMC, 1995.
I am home for Christmas;
God did plan for me.
There's no snow, nor mistletoe,
nor presents under the tree.
But Christmas Day does find me
where Christ's love-light gleams.
I am home for Christmas, O Yes;
it's not just in my dreams.
I'm a Rock Star in Disguise (You're the Devil in Disguise)
People are gifted to do many kinds of work. Sometimes we don't even realize the variety of things we're able to do. I first sang this at a Singles conference to introduce a talk on changing careers.
You look like a waitress,
Walk like a waitress,
Serve like a waitress,
but I got wise;
You're a teacher in disguise.
Oh, yes you are, teacher in disguise. Mm, mm.
You fooled me with those menus,
the special of the day.
Heaven knows there's more you can do
You're more than what you seem.
You look like a surgeon,
Talk like a surgeon,
operate like a surgeon,
but I got wise;
You're a missionary in disguise.
Oh, yes you are, a missionary in disguise. Mm, mm.
You fooled me with that scalpel
and how you cut away.
Heaven knows how much more you'll do,
you're more than what you seem.
I look like a preacher,
Walk like a preacher,
Talk like a preacher,
but they got wise;
I'm a rock star in disguise.
Oh, yes I am, a rock star in disguise. Mm, mm.
They heard me and my sermons,
they heard me preach and pray.
Heaven help me they didn't see,
all the gifts God gave to me.
You chose your career,
it's not what it appears,
the future's not clear,
but you'll get wise;
Discover where your new gift lies,
oh, yes you will,
discover where your gift lies. Mm, mm.
Discover where your new gift lies,
oh, yes you will,
discover where your gift lies. Mm, mm.
In the Office (In the Ghetto)
Written in honor of the church secretary.
At the office,
on a muggy Tallahassee mornin'
a poor associate pastor arrives in the office.
And the secretary cries.
‘Cause if there's one thing that she don't need
its another ornery mouth to heed
in the office.
People, don't you understand
the associate needs a helping hand
or he'll grow to be an angry senior pastor some day.
Take a look at you and me,
are we too blind to see?
Or do we simply turn our heads and look the other way?
Well, the world turns
and the associate stands just a wringing his hands
a tear in his eyes cause the copier's jammed, in the office.
And he needs some help.
Then he turns on the FAX and he dials on the phone
and he presses on Send and the phone rings in Rome
from the office.
And then one day in desperation
the associate breaks away.
He gets the 3 hole punch and a stapler
tries to collate but he don't get far.
And the secretary cries.
As a crowd gathers ‘round an angry young man,
face down on the floor with a stapler in his hand
in the office.
As the associate whines
on a muggy Tallahassee mornin'
the new senior pastor arrives
in the office.
And the secretary cries.
It's Now or Never
Sung at Saint Paul's 1995 staff Christmas party.
It's now or never
sit down and write.
You know the due date
is 5 tonight.
Tomorrow will be too late.
It's now or never
deadlines won't wait.
The Church Secretary,
better not offend her;
'cause in the end
you will surrender.
You'll spend a lifetime
waiting for the right time
to make amends for all your sins, you'll pay.
It's now or never
sit down and write.
You know the due date
is 5 tonight.
Tomorrow will be too late.
It's now or never
the Epistle won't wait.
The Administrative Assistant
yes it pays to please her.
She signs our paychecks;
her wrath don't incur.
She doles out the money;
you won't think it funny,
if payday come and you've got none, you'll cry...
It's now or never
please Recie type.
You know the banks close
at 5 tonight.
Tomorrow my checks will bounce.
It's now or never, I just can't wait.
(Let Me Be Your) Associate Pastor ((Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear)
Bruce Harter was our Staff Parish Relations Committee chair at Saint Paul's when I arrived. I sung this song at a Saint Paul's talent show.
Bruce, please let me be
associate pastor there.
Put a Bible in my hand
and lead me up the stairs.
Oh let me preach
to the folks there.
I don't want to be the senior
'cause seniors work too much.
I don't want to be the big dawg
'cause big dawgs ain't the kind you love enough.
Just wanna be
the associate there.
Put a Bible in my hand
and lead me to my chair
Oh, let me be
your associate there.
Bruce, please let me preach
among you ev'ry week.
Turn that mic on way up there
and hear me when I speak.
Oh let me be
your associate there.
I don't want to be the senior
'cause seniors work too much.
I don't want to be the big dawg
'cause big dawgs ain't the kind you love enough.
Bruce, please let me be
associate there.
Put a Bible in my hand
and lead me up the stairs.
Oh let me preach
to the folks there.
Love Me Tender
Sung at an office volunteers luncheon.
Meter mail, pick up the phone,
they keep the office straight.
They do all this and never moan,
they keep a friendly face.
Love them volunteers, yes we do,
All our requests fulfill.
For, our helpers, we love you
And we always will.
Deal with transients and salesmen too,
They never lose their cool.
Send notice cards of meetings soon,
of talents they are full.
Love them volunteers, yes we do,
All our requests fulfill.
For, our helpers, we love you
And we always will.
Love them volunteers, they're so sweet,
Never let them go.
They help make our staff complete
And we love them so.
Love them volunteers, yes we do,
All our requests fulfill.
For, our helpers, we love you
And we always will.
My Heart's Hotel (Heartbreak Hotel)
Well since my Savior saved me
Well he's found a new place to dwell
Well it's down in the depths of my inmost parts
my heart's hotel
Love You, a Jesus I love You Jesus
oh how I now love You
Gonna serve you each day of my life
Now I know my Savior loves You
Well the Bible this fact does tell
He stands at the door and He knocks you see
at your heart's hotel
Open for Jesus, Jesus
Open for Jesus
Him to the inside do invite
Now our friends all need to hear it
This message from God above
They stand at the end of a lonely street
They need God's love
Need You, a Jesus they need You, Jesus
oh how they now need You
They're so lonely they could die
Now y'all go out and tell 'em
and he'll find a new place to dwell
He'll go down to the depths of their inmost parts
to their heart's hotel
Livin' for Jesus, livin'
We're livin' for Jesus
We must speak so they'll know why
Release Me
In honor of our then departing Saint Paul's secretary Stacey.
Please release me, let me go
to a job that really pays some dough.
To stay at Saint Paul's I can't do.
Release me, with this job I am through.
Oh, I'll miss y'all, it is true.
When I leave you I'll be blue.
The staff is really oh so fine.
The associate especially does shine.
Our volunteers I sure will miss
I'll have to give them each a kiss.
Yet leave them this thing I must do.
So replace me and let me start anew.
Return to Sender
My first performance at Saint Paul's UMC, sung as part of a talent show.
I wrote a letter to my D.S.;
he put it on his stack.
Really wasn't much longer
he sent a letter back.
He wrote upon it:
Return to Florida,
address unknown.
No more waiting,
come on home.
I wouldn't quarrel,
cause I liked that.
I wrote I'm comin'
in a letter I sent him back.
So then I dropped it in the mailbox
and sent it Special D.
Bright and early next morning
he got right back to me.
He called and said to
Return to Florida,
Saint Paul's your home.
No need to wonder,
no need to roam.
It's time I'm gonna load up the truck
and drive it right down there now.
And soon I'll be in my very first church
in Tallahassee, wow.
The place I'm going:
Return to Florida,
Saint Paul's my home.
They've got my number,
no need to roam.
Return to Florida,
Saint Paul's my home.
They've got my number,
no need to roam.
Rock-A-Hula Baby
I wrote this song for my niece Megan.
O when she starts to cry
I say O me, O my,
I feel I'm sleepless bound.
But when we start to sway.
I've gotta say,
She really starts to settle down.
Rock, a hula baby, rock, a hula baby.
Got a hula lulu from Honolulu,
this rock-a-hula baby of mine.
Although I sure feel led
to put her down in bed,
I never get the chance.
She makes me hold her tight
all through the night,
All she wants to do is dance.
Rock, a hula baby, rock, a hula baby.
Got a hula lulu from Honolulu,
this rock-a-hula baby of mine.
Rock, a hula baby, rock, a hula baby.
Got a hula lulu from Honolulu,
this rock-a-hula baby of mine.
A well a rock-a-hula baby of mine.
To Dream The Impossible Dream
Sung in appreciation of the Saint Paul's staff.
To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go.
To right the unrightable wrong,
To love pure and chaste from afar,
To try when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star!
This is my quest
To follow that star,
No matter how hopeless,
No matter how far;
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
To be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause!
And I know, if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest,
that my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest.
And the world will be better for this;
That one man scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last ounce of courage,
To reach the unreachable stars.
To dream the impossible dream,
The staff, our unbeatable staff,
Press on with the hope of tomorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go.
To meet the unmeetable deadline,
To handle another late check request,
To play when your arms are too weary,
To sing, when you can sing no more.
To stay up, when the youth will not sleep,
To handle another client request,
To make another pot full of coffee
To put up with the associate pest.
This is our quest
To answer our call,
No matter how hopeless,
No matter how far;
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
To be willing to march into heck
for a heavenly cause!
And I know if we'll only be true
To this glorious quest,
that our hearts will lie peaceful when we
with retirement are blessed.
And Saint Paul's will be better for this;
That the staff scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with their last ounce of courage,
To meet God's unfathomable call.
True Good News (Blue Suede Shoes)
Why I quit my day job as an engineer and became an ordained minister...
Well, it's not for the money,
not for the show,
but to preach that gospel now go cat go, just preach on,
preach on that true good news.
You can do whatcha please but I'm gonna preach true good news.
Well you can knock me down,
step on my face,
slander my name all over the place.
Do anything that you want to do.
But hey there brother I'm speakin' the truth.
Hear me, preachin' the true good news.
You can do anything but I'm preachin' the true good news.
Jesus came,
the Bible sayeth,
came to save us all from sin and death.
Came as a babe and died on a cross;
Rose victorious and that's the truth.
Hear me singin' the true good news
He came to bring life and I'm singin' this true good news.
(repeat v.1)
It's true, true good news.
It's true, true good news.
It's true, true good news, baby;
It's true, true good news.
He came to bring life and I'm singing this true good news.
Viva Emmaus (Viva Las Vegas)
Camp Centenary it is quite the place
It's the best camp in Gadsden County
Got a luxury suite with a bunk bed to boot
and a book shelf just for me.
Oh yeah there's spiders and some skeeters and
some snorers too
A mattress that's this thick and yup a shower too
Wake-up call at no charge, what else can they do
Viva Emmaus
Viva Emmaus
Bright light city now I've said good-bye
God's gonna set my soul on fire
Ain't gonna hide my light gonna let it shine
Gonna set my sights a little higher.
Oh there's a thousand reasons you might choose to
stay away
But I'm here to tell you, Baby, it's your day.
You'll be so blessed you made the choice to stay
Viva Emmaus
Viva Emmaus
Viva Emmaus, God is really movin' and the
folks are groovin'
God gives such grace,
Viva Emmaus, turnin' grace into ‘gapé, turnin'
love into action
If you feel it once you'll never be the same again.
I'm gonna keep havin' fun, I'm gonna walk with the One
if it costs me my very last dime.
If I wind up broke well I'll always remember that it's his
and it's not really mine.
I'm gonna give Him everything that I've got
Jesus said that he would forsake me not.
We've been blessed these three days oh yes quite a lot
Viva Emmaus
Viva Emmaus
Viva Emmaus
Viva, oh Viva Emmaus
Viva Las Vegas
Sung at a birthday party for Saint Paul's employees Recie and Cathy, 1998.
She writes my paychecks gonna get some cash
Gonna get my cash on time.
Need a little more money that's ready to burn
That's why I go and see Recie.
There's a thousand little couples waitin' out there
And they're all lookin' to get hitched here
And I'm just the pastor with a date to spare, So
Book ‘em Culpepper
Recie Culpepper
How I wish that there were more
Than the twenty four hours in the day
Cos even if there were forty more
I couldn't get my stuff in on time
Oh! There's bulletins, Epistles and Emmaus stuff
Turn it in late and she's pretty rough.
All you need's a strong heart, she don't take no guff.
Cathy Yoshikawa
Cathy Yoshikawa
Cathy Yoshikawa with your cakes a bakin'
and your Risograph makin'
all those copies that we need.
Recie Culpepper turnin' crafts out at night time,
turnin' checks out by day time
If you see it once, you'll never be the same again.
These two keep us on the run,
and they're always havin' fun
and that's the way it is all the time.
They keep things light
so we'll always remember to have a swingin' time.
We're gonna give it everything we got
Cause Recie and Cathy make a mighty fine lot
With them we know we've hit the jackpot.
Recie Culpepper
Cathy Yoshikawa
Recie & Cathy
Cathy & Recie at Saint Paul's
We Want You, We Need You, We Love You (I Want You, I Need You, I Love You)
Sung at the 1998 birthday party of Saint Paul's employees Recie and Cathy.
We will boast you're alright;
how you shine, you're so bright.
You must know where we stand
from the start.
We Want You,
We Need You,
We Love You,
with all our heart.
Every day that you're here
all our cares disappear
Ladies you're all that we're
hoping for.
We Want You,
We Need You,
We Love You,
more and more.
We thought we could live without you all.
Before you came to the staff.
But now we know that we will go on loving you eternally.
Won't you please stick around,
Never leave us aground
Cause we'll cry if you
ever do part.
We Want You,
We Need You,
We Love You,
with all our heart.